Thank you Judy! Yes, I remember you and your daughter. It’s hard to say, honestly. It’s difficult to look back in my young teenage mind and sort what was a “red flag” versus what was normal developmental stuff, and I suspect there was a lot of overlap too. Those 2 or 3 years in Santa Clarita were also some of the happiest of my childhood. My dad had a job that he liked, a church that he…Read More

Thanks Bethany! That’s a really tough question. The seminaries I’m working with are ones I connected with because I have friends who are professors or administrators there. I’d recommend selecting a handful of seminaries that meet their ministry goals, and then evaluating each seminary’s counseling department (if they have one), and maybe ask some basic questions like, “When was the last…Read More

Hi Jeanette! I just found you on Facebook. Sorry I missed your friend request somehow! Yes, let’s talk, because this is exactly the issue I want to address and help prevent. No one should have to go through what we’ve gone through.

Apparently not! And they submitted this via my website even though they have my direct email because I replied to them ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you, Peter! I’m hopeful and thankful that God is raising up more pastors and church leaders such as yourself who care for the oppressed and desire to understand this issue. I will certainly be posting more. Please let me know if you have any specific questions or topics you’d like me to address. Thank you for your service to God’s kingdom.

Thank you Sharon! Yes, the response has been overwhelming and so encouraging!

Thank you, Linda! I’m so sorry for your suffering, but grateful for your efforts and voice on behalf of victims and survivors of abuse. May God bless you as well <3

Janelle, my hope and prayer for this letter was that God would work through it to alert loving pastors to this danger in our midst, and give a voice to victims and survivors who may be too heartbroken or afraid to come forward. Thank you for being an answer to my prayer. But more than that, thank you for your loving kindness, encouragement, and ministry to me. You are right, we – you…Read More

Michelle, I’m am terribly sorry to hear about your suffering and the backwards reaction of the chapel director. I completely understand the decision to remain silent. It’s horrible that such silence is a necessary consideration in some circles, where you know you won’t be believed, and may even be further abused by those who’d bully and falsely accuse. I hope you were able to find another…Read More

Travis, this is extremely wise. Thank you. I may cite your comment in a future article. I agree, any time we become more interested in protecting “the church” as a brand, rather than as individual people in need of reflecting and receiving Jesus Christ, things go sideways very quickly.

For Anyone Reading: I know Joe from church. We knew each other for … IDK, 6 years? … while he and his beautiful family attended Cornerstone, and we had since interacted over Facebook without incident. However, Joe has now demonstrated in real time the reason why I wrote my Open Letter, and he has validated every concern and fear I outlined in it.

Thank you, Joe.

Grace, I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through, and sorry to hear how unprepared your church was to handle things. I will pray for your family member who paid dearly for that. Thank you for bringing up the issue of suicide and how it can be weaponized by abusers. On the one hand, I’ve been suicidal before, and I know the devastating pain of being in that place. On the other hand,…Read More