Wisdom has built her tiny house she has hewn her recycled seven pallet coffee table. She has sliced her avocados; she has mixed her kombucha; she has decorated her table with Hobby Lobby succulents. “Come! Eat of my gluten free bread; and drink of my kombucha. Leave your SJW ways and get a life, walk in the way of tolerance, …
Internet Proverbs: If Solomon Had Been A Millennial
Arguing with a fool on the internet is like wrestling a pig; you both get dirty, and the pig likes it. A wise woman considers her child’s health and nutrition, but posting about it on Facebook is like poking a thousand bears. The prudent person recognizes a troll and mutes them, but the simple keep arguing and suffer needless stress. …
If King David Had Been A Stay At Home Mom, Psalm 1
The following is the first in a series of faux-Psalms, inspired by the elegant writing style of the Psalmists as well as the plight of the average stay at home mom. I considered calling them Molms, but I was concerned no one would get it. While humorous in nature, don’t assume for a second these aren’t actual prayers I’ve prayed. Deliver me O …
Tips For Handling Exhaustion From A 2 Year Old
Here are a few tips from my toddler on how to cope with tiredness: 1. Take off all your clothes, put on your Sunday dress shoes, stand on a chair, and wail. 2. Repeatedly hand Mommy solid objects and command her to, “OPEN!” Cry when she cannot. 3. Eat Desitin. 4. Open the freezer and cry that there’s no ice cream. …
Bible Reading With The Kids | Psalm 74: “Jesus Makes Purple Rainbows”
Any time I read the Bible to the girls, I paraphrase using words they’ll understand. My 3 year old interjects her own interesting ideas, which often reveal how she as a toddler comprehends the Bible. Here’s a transcript of the adorable hilarity that went down this afternoon:
Psalm 23: The Reading Aloud Mom Version
This is how Psalm 23 goes when you’re reading to a 3 year old, a 1 year old, and a 3 month old: The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want, If you get ketchup on my Bible I’ll be upset.