Abuse, photo by Kat Jayne

2 Lies that Enable Abuse in the Church

My mom knew that my dad was a pervert with a violent temper who never apologized for anything. She thought that if she submitted to him and was a good Christian wife, he would eventually become a good Christian man, repent of his sin, and love her. Her background included catholic, charismatic, and reformed doctrines, and there was a copy …

The Healing Power of Old Hymns

There were many times, particularly when I was a teenager and young adult, that I took great solace in hymns. Some seem to think that’s a bit odd. I suppose it is unusual for a teenager to gravitate so strongly toward “old-fashioned” music. However, the lyrics of hymns tend to be much more rich, thoughtful, and profound than your typical …

Great (but Realistic) Expectations: What Does Happiness Look Like?

Lately in my conversations with readers, the topic of abuse recovery has come up. Some of us don’t expect to ever fully heal. Others are desperate to heal, and cling to the hope that we will someday feel happy and secure. While on the one hand we don’t want to stagnate in a state of perpetual pain and sorrow, it’s …

See, What Kind of Love: How 1 John 3 Speaks to Child Abuse Survivors

This morning a pastor friend of mine, Reverend J. Michael Dixon of The Orchard Church in Chicago, sought to encourage me by tweeting me 1 John 3:1. I frequently speak on social media about a feeling of being orphaned, and this was such a perfect verse to address that feeling. After reading the entire chapter and realizing what riches it …