Jesus Calling: Though We May Feel Alone, We Are Not Forsaken by God

Today I have the honor of being featured on the Jesus Calling podcast alongside author Angela Braniff, who wrote the book, Love Without Borders. Please listen to our interviews, or read the transcript, here.

Jesus Calling Podcast: My name is Jennifer Greenberg, and I am the survivor of twenty-one years of child abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse, and psychological abuse at the hands of my churchgoing father. But God was faithful. He saved me at a very young age, and He maintained my faith and kept me going through a lot of dark times.

I was born in Austin, Texas. I’m the oldest of five daughters. We moved around a lot. I lived in Memphis, Tennessee; Houston, Texas; Los Angeles, California.

When I was about fifteen years old, I came to a new realization of how warped my dad was. I had known for a long time that there was something wrong, and I had known that he didn’t love me the way that normal dads loved their children.

But when I was fifteen, you know, I’d just gone through puberty. I was turning into an adult. And so I was looking at my dad with new eyes, with more mature eyes, and understanding the things he said and the things he did from a much more adult perspective than I previously had. And I was so overcome by his darkness, knowing that my dad was a sexual predator and that I was his prey.

And I did not think I could live any more time under his roof. For a long time, I had thought, I just need to make it until my eighteenth birthday and then I can move out. I can go to college and I can escape. But at fifteen, I sort of came to a realization that I didn’t think I could make it three more years. And I became seriously suicidal.

I prayed to God and I asked God, I need to know that you are not going to abandon me. I need to know that if I do commit suicide, that you’re still going to love me and you’re still going to take me to heaven. And I need you to give me some kind of sign that you love me.