The Truth About Trolls & Social Media Bullies

Since I’ve started speaking more publicly about Christianity and abuse recovery, I’ve encountered some people who strongly dislike my message. Interestingly, this often manifests in insults about my profile photo. I have the same profile photo across almost all of my social media accounts. People have called me a “slut” and “dishonoring to God” and even a “white supremacist.”

This isn’t an issue that I face alone by a long shot. This tactic of slander and personal insults is very common against women who voice strong opinions. It’s currently being used brutally against Dana Loesch of the NRA, but it’s been leveled against women like Michelle Obama and Chelsea Clinton with equal malice as well.

For me, these antagonists tend to come from three basic groups:

  • Alt-Right: People who are mad at me for not supporting Trump, or for having a Jewish last name, and who claim I am too pretty to be smart, and must be harpy or an unfaithful wife. These people like to call me “feminist” as an insult, and some have called me a liar for sharing true stories from my childhood.
  • Alt-Left: People who are mad at me for not being pro-abortion or a man-hating SJW feminist. They like to claim I’m too white not to be a racist. They have called me a “fake Jew” and “betrayer of women,” as well as a “fake abuse survivor.”
  • Legalistic Christians: People who resent that I don’t fit into their narrow, ultra-submissive, mousy definition of Biblical womanhood and claim I’m “slutty,” “dishonoring to God,” and “leading men into sin” with my makeup and spaghetti straps. One woman even called me a “messenger of Satan,” even though I regularly share overtly Christian posts.

It’s interesting to note that while Christ ministered to women who were prostitutes and adulterers, he never once criticized them for what they wore or how they looked. It’s also interesting to note how quickly some people judge others solely on their clothes and then use Christianity as justification. The “Christians” are the once who nettle me the most, mainly because I don’t like people attributing such vitriolic nastiness to Jesus and the Gospel.

Of course, what’s important to note is that all of these abusive and harassing people come from different backgrounds. This isn’t a Right problem or a Left problem, a men’s problem or a women’s problem, a Christian problem or a nonbeliever problem. The attackers claim different backgrounds and are both male and female, young and old.

The one and only consistent factor is sin. All of these people are sinful in that they’re judgmental, cruel, abusive, and lack empathy or compassion. They lack God’s grace.

You see, when abusive people are threatened by how smart you are, or offended by your ideas and beliefs, they will often try to silence you. One easy way to do this – particularly if the prospective victim is female – is by trying to make you feel insecure about your appearance. They begin hurling insults, particularly regarding your looks and intelligence.

Abusers hope that if they can make you feel insecure, you’ll start questioning yourself. You’ll spend more and more time focusing on your hurt feelings and second guessing yourself, and less and less time formulating and sharing the ideas that they hate so much. It’s a mind game. They also know that if they sew seeds of insecurity in one (seemingly superficial) area of your life, that insecurity will likely spread to other aspects, including your work, relationships, and overall self-confidence.

If they can damage or destroy your self-confidence, then they can effectively silence your opinions, while simultaneously puffing up their ego by making themselves feel powerful. For the so-called “Christian” abuser, accusing you of sin also makes them feel morally superior. Of course, God sees right through hypocrisy.

It’s important that we see this kind of verbal harassment for what it is: A lazy and abusive tactic to suppress the ideas of others.

Comments 1

  1. Hi Jennifer!

    I am looking for men and woman to learn from so I can be a better father to my daughter and it is refreshing to see someone who has risen above abuse and shaming and wants to serve others by your story. I don’t understand all the hate on your twitter, but I am happy to read that you have been set “Free” in so many ways and look forward to checking out your books when you are finished with them.

    “The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving”

    – Psalm 28:7

    Matthew Kovalcik

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