Internet Proverbs: If Solomon Had Been A Millennial

Arguing with a fool on the internet is like wrestling a pig;
you both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

A wise woman considers her child’s health and nutrition,
but posting about it on Facebook is like poking a thousand bears.

The prudent person recognizes a troll and mutes them,
but the simple keep arguing and suffer needless stress.

Train up a child in either Apple or Android;
and even when they are old they will not depart from it.

A wise man reads an article before commenting;
a foolish man forms his opinion based on the preview title.

Block an irritating heckler and banish strife;
Mute a troll and quarreling and abuse will cease.

Some people read your posts to understand your perspective;
Others skim them just to comment with their own.

A wise man converses respectfully and calmly;
an idiot becomes enraged over irrelevant non-issues.

Our forefathers established their reputations as mature grown men;
but everyone knows how immature the millenial generation was at 13.

A fool in his folly believes in the myth of privacy policies;
advertisers will know you’re pregnant before your mother does.

Do not read the prattling posts of an idiot;
He speaks many words yet says nothing of value.

One who seeks to incite drama and discord is wicked;
he spews fake news and his lies are as malware for your brain.

He who swallows nonsense like delicious morsels is not woke;
and she who births contention is not winning.

My son, use hashtags in moderation;
do not follow people who say things like #teamfollowback.
Their path leads to chaos and a flurry of nonsense;
for a thousand followers, they would even trade a puppy.

Grumpy Cat is wiser than most politicians;
He says nothing, yet communicates a firm grasp on the dire state of things.

Auto-fill makes for fun games on Facebook;
but one bad spell-check could seal the covfefe of nations.

Consider all news sources with the skepticism of Side Eyeing Chloe;
If it’s fake news it’s folly, if it’s real that’s even worse.

When characters are unlimited, stupidity is not lacking;
but whoever restrains his tweets is prudent.

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