Here are a few tips from my toddler on how to cope with tiredness:
1. Take off all your clothes, put on your Sunday dress shoes, stand on a chair, and wail.
2. Repeatedly hand Mommy solid objects and command her to, “OPEN!” Cry when she cannot.
3. Eat Desitin.
4. Open the freezer and cry that there’s no ice cream.
5. Demand to be held while Mommy is talking on the phone and changing a diaper. Act irritated when Mommy tries to hold you but she’s not busy.
6. Take the child safety guards off the corners of the dinner table and put them in your diaper.
7. Scoot a dining room chair around the house and get mad when it gets stuck on a seam in the flooring.
8. Use the peanut butter in the sandwich Mommy made for you as a lotion.
9. Crawl under the coffee table and lift the glass out, knocking over everything and creating a potentially dangerous situation for yourself.
10. Take everything out of the diaper bag and replace it with random items, so that the next time Mommy’s out and needs to change someone’s diaper, she finds a couple crayons, your toothbrush, and partially eaten strawberry, and a plastic toy tomato.
