Thanksgiving, Christmas, Black Friday, and Zombies

The turkey, before I baked him.

This was my first year hosting Thanksgiving at our house, and as such, it is also the first time I undertook the roasting of a turkey by myself. Of course, I’ve made chicken, pot roast, porch chops, and things like that before, but they don’t quite prepare one for pulling an 8 inch featherless neck out of the cold slimy nether regions of a deceased fowl. Nevertheless, I was triumphant.

“I’ve given birth,” I declared, “I can handle a turkey!”

Our 25 lb. monster-of-a-turkey (who I nick named Jerry) was so heavy that he made the shelf in my oven sag alarmingly. But after 6 hours of baking at 425 degrees, he emerged a nice golden brown with a steaming chest and plump crispy legs. Like the hero out of a Shakespearean tragedy, he rested inertly, with his wings folded over his breast, on a bed of potatoes, carrots, and celery sprigs. Of course, instead of sending him adrift on The Lake Of Shining Waters, we ate him. But still … I expect it was a romantic send off … for a turkey.

I also made home-made stuffing with bacon bits and dried cranberries (which I was quite proud of), and we had some family traditions like bean casserole, Waldorf salad, and sweet potatoes. I am not a big fan of sweet potatoes. But everyone else seems to like them. To me, they are always a horrific experience.

Shadowfax in the Christmas tree.

Of course, this is Elowyn and Shadowfax’s first holiday season! We are so excited, particularly about Christmas. In fact, our tree is already up! Shadowfax has really enjoyed climbing to the top of it, and Elowyn enjoys looking at all the sparkly lights and shiny ornaments. I’m excited about getting Elowyn her first Christmas presents, however, I always avoid shopping on Black Friday weekend because I have no desire to die trampled underfoot by a mob of crazed lunatics on a quest for discounted waffle makers or dancing Elmo dolls. Seriously, what a way to go! I think I’d rather go the way of a Thanksgiving turkey. At least feeding a family is a relatively noble cause.

Speaking of crazed shoppers, have you ever noticed that they swarm around sale items like hungry zombies swarming around a doomed actor in a B rated movie? I’d much rather shop online, or wait until later. Between Black Friday mobs and the scarcity of Twinkies, I’ve really been wanting to watch Zombieland again. Although Hostess is closing their doors, I have a sneaking suspicion that some conglomerate of genius marketeers will buy them out and get those spongy, yellow, artificial, goo-infused cakes back on the shelves pronto.

As Tallahassee said, “Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain’t over yet.”

Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends, and have a lovely rest of the weekend!



Comments 1

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.